The question ‘Do I use a wheelchair or not?’ was not answered easily. This was not only because of the expectations I put on myself but because the therapist initially wanted me to walk without any aids. The goal was to walk again and without aids. I did achieve this?
Well not really. After some months in rehabilitation (rehab) my physiotherapists (physios) were still keen for me to walk without any aids. It soon became quite clear this was not going to be possible. I learnt how to use a walking stick. But I required a wheelchair for most things. When I finally went home from rehab I still had in my head that I should be walking not using a wheelchair. For a very long time I thought, ‘I must not be trying hard enough if I need a wheelchair’. In hindsight ridiculous thinking. It was obvious that if I was to survive out in the community I would need one.
However initially I did try outings without a wheelchair with disastrous consequences. Automatic doors were more than a challenge to me. I would try and place myself in the right spot for the doors to open. If I was fortunate enough to get into position I then couldn’t get myself moving and walk quickly enough before the doors would close. I would still be locked out of the building unless some one would stand in the right position so the door remained open. Sometimes I was fortunate enough to almost get though I door but it had usually started to close and snare me. I would be clamped firmly in the jaws of a door, not able to go backwards or forwards, and there I stayed until another person would trigger the door and I would be released from its clutches.
On occasions when deciding I would walk as I thought it was expected of me I would often end up on the ground, the floor of a shop, restaurant, church or other places. I remember on one occasion when going on an outing to a restaurant the person taking me said, ‘You don’t need a wheelchair’. In those days I wasn’t brave enough to say, ‘Yes I do’. I had no sooner walked into the restaurant than someone brushed my shoulder and down I went. Bang, crash onto the floor. When I opened my eyes to assess my situation all I saw was a white cane. A blind man had sent me flying. When I was helped to my feet still shaken my next nightmare presented itself. The group I was to have lunch with was at the further most table. When I eventually reached the group exhausted and close to tears I got out my phone and rang my friend and said, ‘Could you come and pick me. up. Bring my wheelchair’.
When these situations occurred all it took was a slight brush of my shoulder, I remember in a newsagent when at the beach one weekend my friend/career had helped me into the shop. ‘Will you be alright if I go and get the paper?’she asked. ‘Yes’, I said confidently but she had no sooner left me and I was on the floor. Sunglasses askew, legs tangled and lying in a heap. My friend turned back to check on me just in time to see me starting to lose my balance and start to fall. She hurried back to my aid. Not like on another occasion when the person who knocked me over in a shop which had a concrete floor blissfully kept walking whilst I lay in a tangled mess thinking, ‘I hope nothing is broken’.
Fortunately I have never broken a bone when I have fallen but I have had some unpleasant but funny experiences. It wasn’t long before I realised if I was to be out and about in the community I was going to have to use a wheelchair. It became a wonderful aid enabling me to venture safely outside of my home.
I got into the habit of always carrying my phone in a pocket and my carer/friend would often get a phone call from me asking, ‘Could you please come and help me up as I had fallen’. I might have been in the garden amongst the shrubbery, caught between a chair and the wall or on the floor somewhere else in the house. I have had a variety of wheelchairs over the years. I started off with a manual wheelchair but after it became too difficult for my friend/carer to push me I changed to power wheelchairs.
A wheelchair is an aid which enables me to live a more independent life both at home and out in the community.
‘For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.’
Psalm 91:11-12 (NKJV)